I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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