Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
