I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize