Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
