Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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