I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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