So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
