I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
