We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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