Just fell off a train. Bad.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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