he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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