My room smells like vodka and shame
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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