i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
3pm strippers are depressing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
