we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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