ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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