There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize