Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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