Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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