If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
