Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
