I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
