So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
