he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
