I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
