I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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