Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
