yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
