these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
