so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
