Don't you send me to vm
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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