Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
