You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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