I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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