my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My cat gives me a boner
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
