You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
