I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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