that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
