Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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