I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
