dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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