ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
