what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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