But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
