Porn is love you can see.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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