Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
