Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
