No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
