Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
