If that was your dad, he is hot
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
