There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
