My balls are so social today.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
