I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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