It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
