You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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