one might say we're banned from that church
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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