I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you will always have a special place in my vag
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
