He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
two words: eviction party
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
