its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
